This blog is going to be all about long term lesbian relationships. I am a card carrying lesbian in my mid 30s, and I have been with my partner for 15 years*. When I tell people this…gay or straight..they gasp. They are usually surprised, and a little bit impressed, and I, in turn, am surprised by their surprise….(this can go on for a long time, with each of us getting more and more surprised until one of us explodes into little tiny pieces..admittedly this has never actually happened). Why are they surprised? Well here comes the science bit….In my opinion its because society has made life pretty hard for gay people in one way and another (legal protection, next of kin rights, public displays of affection, etc etc etc), these things put an extra layer of pressure onto a relationship (which can be hard anyway) and therefore people break up. This leads to a vicious circle (see diagram below)
Illuminating diagram of a vicious circle
We (the lesbians) split up, then we (the lesbian community), have no role models, or any collective wisdom of wise old lesbians sitting around and saying heart warming encouraging things like “Oh yes, that’s the seven year itch”, or “I remember our first strap-on”……..You get the picture. So I have decided that I am going to plug that gap…and am going to be dolling out afore mentioned sage advice..for free!!!! You lucky, lucky girls….you get to hear an opinionated 30 something talk about long term love and sex…yes you heard me right..there will be lots of sex talk on this blog because that is another thing that people (read:lesbian people) make up a load of hoo-ha about…but that is for another post. x
*Now I’m not here to promote a long term monogamous lifestyle. Let me just get that straight, right off the bat. You must do whatever makes you happy…you go get your polyamorus, serial monogamous, queer, metrosexual rocks off any which way you like. I am certainly not here to preach or judge. You must live the life you want to live, and I will always defend your right to do that…BUT………I know a lot of lesbian folks who want to have long term relationships and want to talk to people who are making that work for themselves. This blog is for you mine lieblings, and I really hope you enjoy it.